Desparation

Anger.

     Who am I, that I must take the blame for everything?  Humbly I accept the accusations thrown upon me as legitimate evidence of my own humanity.  I am very much aware that there is no end to my list of shortcomings, the reminders are not completely neccessary.  Still, the bitterness and anger of yesterday threatens to destroy the progress of today.

     Completely numb to emotion, I sit.  I wonder: certainly this cant be the life you've called me to?  I know you intended so much more, and yet I want to hide from this current reality.  Is this what you've called me to?  I don't think so. 

     Where are you!?!?  You promised you'd be with me!  So why can't I see you?  Why can't I hear you?  You've delivered me so many times before, and now you hold out on me?!?!  This is not your intent!  It never was!  Why then must I endure such hardship as your child?  You PROMISED!! You said that if I just had faith, that you would come to my rescue!  Well here I am!  No longer just treading the water, but swimming hard towards the place where I last saw you.  Dont abandon me now, I need you more than ever!  Faithful one, have mercy upon me! 


Psalm 34:17  When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.